parenting

10 Happiness - Thumbnail
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AT HOME WITH HOMER: Happiness — with Stephanie Dua
AT HOME WITH HOMER: Happiness — with Stephanie Dua 1920 1080 Chase Jennings

Kanika: I heard you mention in a recent interview that it wasn’t your job to “make your kids happy” and it stopped me in my tracks. I mean, making sure someone else is happy is a tall order (and might I mention impossible), but so many parents assume that role. I know I did. If happiness isn’t the goal, what is?

Stephanie: Yes, I can totally relate. It’s so natural to assume that responsibility. But once you acknowledge that it’s an impossible task and start focusing on the things you do have control over, a huge weight lifts.

Stephanie’s Tips:

  • Give them power over their decisions, even the wrong ones.
    • If kids are fighting you to put on shoes or a raincoat, once I said, “Okay, don’t wear shoes” or “Okay, don’t wear a raincoat” and when they felt the direct consequences of their decision, they were able to make better decisions in the future
  • Give them agency over their success and failures
    • Ex. not checking homework — allowing the teacher to build a direct relationship with the student and hold them accountable
  • Support them as they experience a full range of emotions
    • You can’t control their feelings — sadness, elation and disappointment are all part of life, so instead help them develop tools to be able to cope with these emotions
  • Build resilience

Episode Links:

Visit learnwithhomer.com/momsense for a 60-day FREE trial

7 Rebuilding Our Foundation (Horizontal)
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AT HOME WITH HOMER: Re-Building Our Foundation — with Stephanie Dua
AT HOME WITH HOMER: Re-Building Our Foundation — with Stephanie Dua 1920 1080 Chase Jennings

Kanika: Wow, we are starting to resume normal life — Kids will soon be out of school, long days, warm nights are here along with traveling, bike riding and reading but there are also nerves, questions and unknowns. How are you thinking about carrying forward some of the experiences and learnings from covid as we return to “normal”?

Stephanie: Yes, alongside all the excitement there are so many questions and unknowns and still so much to process from the past year.

Stephanie Tips:

  • The Role of Mom: Less in the job of “mom”, more in the relationship of the child. Less about drive time means more quality time.
  • Make room for kids to take agency
    • Creating a schedule offers some structure while also giving kids agency to decide how they’ll spend their time
    • It’s also important to make sure your kids feel like they’re part of the team by contributing with certain chores around the house. This also gives them some structure and a sense of accomplishment.
  • Hold onto the “silver linings” of the last year
    • Rose, thorn, bud at dinner — sharing the highs and the lows helps kids understand that life is full of ups and downs. They feel confident and more resilient.
    • Increased family time
    • Decreased social calendar — In the past our weekends would be packed with 2-3 commitments/day, which would lead to a lot of rushing, not much enjoying
    • Option 1: 1 commitment / day
    • Option 2: Sunday funday
  • Re-engage slowly
    • Depending on the age of your child, they might not remember certain places or people, so re-engage slowly
    • Be careful not to overly stimulate — Cut outings and social gatherings in half or start with a beach day or a hike.

Episode Links:

Visit learnwithhomer.com/momsense for a 60-day FREE trial

91 Jeanne Bleu on Thats Total Mom Sense with Kanika Chadda-Gupta
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091: Jeanne Bleu — Toys That Bring Joy During Each Milestone
091: Jeanne Bleu — Toys That Bring Joy During Each Milestone 1920 1080 Chase Jennings

Are you worried your kids are addicted to their screens and are not using their imagination and curiosity as much as they should?

Do you feel like toys and gadgets have taken over your home and you just want to go back to the basics with minimal things for your babies and kids to play with, that happen to be decoration pieces too?

Today, I’m joined by the creative director of Manhattan Toy Company, Jeanne Bleu, who is going to share her special connection to toys and why the brand is so intentional about serving parents with thoughtfully crafted toys that stand the test of time and are made to pique a child’s development at every stage.

Jeanne Bleu began her career as a graphic designer and illustrator and decided to take time off to raise her two children. During that time, she took on various part time pursuits including being a muralist, painter, co-owned a gift and furniture store. When she made her foray back into the work force, she was the illustrator at a stationary company, a trend director at gift and stationery company, and creative director of Manhattan Toy since 2014.

Meet My Guest:

Press

Mom Haul:

70 Shannon Murray-Doffo on Thats Total Mom Sense with Kanika Chadda-Gupta
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070: Shannon Murray-Doffo — Kids Apparel That Sparks Imagination
070: Shannon Murray-Doffo — Kids Apparel That Sparks Imagination 1920 1080 Chase Jennings

Imagine if children’s apparel was so much more than just clothes. What if it were experiential and allowed kids to use their imagination and bring things to life.

My guest has been there and is doing it as we speak.

Shannon Murray-Doffo, is an award winning serial entrepreneur, marketing expert, and business strategist. Shannon spent over 13 years helping Fortune 10 companies strategize, build, and implement their marketing campaigns, culminating in launching her own brand in 2019, Living Loudly.

Living Loudly serves parents as a children’s clothing and lifestyle brand, helping parents realize they’re not alone and bringing a little more joy to the parenting experience.

Whether parents are picking out super-soft, eco-friendly apparel with their kids and cuddling up with a story, or taking one of her online workshops to get real support with their relationships, self-care, or parenting, Living Loudly puts connection at the heart of the business so parents (and their kiddos) can have a few more laughs and a few less bribes.

Meet My Guest:

Mom Haul:

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063: Reena B. Patel — Stop Yelling + Implement Positive Parenting
063: Reena B. Patel — Stop Yelling + Implement Positive Parenting 1024 512 Chase Jennings

To gain knowledge and strength through study and experience, while laughing along the journey, to better support our family and friends in an effort to serve society. This is the family mission statement of Reena B. Patel, a Parenting Expert, Guidance Counselor, Licensed Educational Psychologist, and Board Certified Behavior Analyst. 

For more than 20 years, Reena B. Patel, LEP, BCBA has had the privilege of working with families and children supporting all aspects of education and positive wellness. Patel has worked extensively with developing children as well as children with exceptional needs, supporting their academic, behavioral and social development.

It all started while in graduate school when Patel was working at UCLA’s NeuroPsychiatric Hospitals Early Childhood Partial Day Program. It was here when Patel first worked with children with Autism. From there, she began to hone in on identifying any limiting factors for kids, whether it be learning challenges, physical impairments, and/or social/emotional difficulties by working in schools. She has since successfully created Autism programs, conducted training courses in Behavior Interventions for District Administrators, Teachers, and Staff, created District Behavior Training Modules, and conducted parent education trainings in schools around Southern California that assist with effective educational techniques and positive behaviors Solutions.

Currently Patel is the Founder and CEO of AutiZm & More that serves to help children and their families embed positive behavior support strategies across home, school and community settings. Her company strives to improve the quality of life for all children. She routinely holds workshops throughout California, guiding and training parents, mental health professionals, families and educators on positive parenting techniques, educational interventions, and practical solutions and how it can be beneficial for all children. All workshops have a positive approach and message of kindness and compassion.

Recently nominated for San Diego Magazine’s “Woman of the Year”, she continues to write children’s stories, provides unmatched support to her community and beyond via her private practice and training.

Meet My Guest:

Press:

Mom Haul:

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Should You Dress Your Twins Alike?
Should You Dress Your Twins Alike? 2560 1545 Chase Jennings

If you’re a fellow twin mom, let me start by saying, “I am here for you.” We are in a league of our own because we’ve endured delivering two babies at once (and may have had a NICU experience), know how to tandem breastfeed and bottle feed, have their schedule down pat, and of course have mastered handling double the diapers, baths, and naps along with twice as many hugs, cuddles, and cute clothes! It’s a journey through all the feels (x2) and it’s incredible.

Matchy Matchy?

Many people expect to see identical twins donning matching outfits or fraternal twins wearing complementary colors. I say trust your “mom sense” (your super power of intuition) on outfit choices. It’s undoubtedly easier to buy two of the same garment, but be mindful that their sizes may actually vary. Through my informal research, I’ve found that dressing your twins (triplets, quadruplets, etc.) the same when they’re babies does not have a long term effect on their sense of identity when they’re older. And they do make for the cutest photos!

Same, Same But Different

According to a BBC article, Keith Reed, Chief Executive of the Twins and Multiple Births Association (TAMBA), says it is important for parents to help multiple birth children develop their own identities when they’re older, meaning 2 years old on up. This can be done by dressing them differently and using their individual names rather than calling them “the twins” or “the triplets.” He adds, “If they are used to always being together or always wearing the same clothes, then the older they get the more distressed they may become if you try to make changes. However this does not mean denying their special relationship as one of a multiple. Rather it allows them to see themselves as individuals who have the bonus of being part of a multiple unit.” Womb mates to roommates, I say!

I dress my boy-girl twins in outfits that they feel most comfortable in and resonate with their personal style. My daughter is a problem-solving engineer, and is a girly-girl when it comes to fashion. She loves her House of Sofella pink tulle skirt. Pink is her favorite color and she loves to wear skirts all year long (with a pair of tights underneath during colder months). Her twin brother is protective and affectionate. He loves the color blue and likes to look dapper, yet laid back so his shirt of his choice is often a collared button down. My youngest son just loves being part of the party and is outgoing, gregarious, and always smiling. He is athletic and has a penchant for any sport we can introduce him to as a toddler, so he lives in his t-shirts and fleece joggers.
 

House of Sofella has such a curated collection of styles that are contemporary and chic. I love that the brand allows my kids to have access to European fashion and express themselves in their own unique, special way.

 

Originally posted here on HouseofSofella.com 

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018: Wendy Goseett — What’s Your Child’s Personality Type?
018: Wendy Goseett — What’s Your Child’s Personality Type? 1024 512 Chase Jennings

Wendy Gossett is a Parenting Specialist. She helps parents understand their children by using temperament psychology and neuroscience. She has over twenty years of experience in education, working in the classroom and corporate sector.

However, all her educational experience didn’t help when parenting her daughter. Because they were opposites, she struggled as a helicopter parent, an explosive parent and an embarrassing parent. (Google “dancing mom in traffic to see for yourself.”) Because she has struggled, she wants to help other parents struggle…a little bit less!

She is a speaker, author and contributing writer for multiple parenting publications.

Tune In:

Meet My Guest:

Show Notes:

  • 01:24 – Introduction (the Myers Briggs test) 
  • 04:10 – The Child Inner-Drive Assessment
  • 07:41 – The four people patterns that babies fall into (Ox, Lion, Eagle and Human) 
  • 08:03 – Carl Jung
  • 10:00 – “Intuitive” babies
  • 11:31 – “The Tin Man”
  • 14:11 – Introverted siblings and space
  • 15:50 – Negotiators
  • 18:34 – Differentiating
  • 20:00 – 2-hour family consultation for brain mapping
  • 22:44 – Dealing with sensory seeking children
  • 23:10 – Quote of the day: “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” – Albert Schweitzer
  • 24:50 – Mom Haul

Mom Haul:

Terri Bacow
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013: Terri Bacow — Mom Guilt Stops Here – Why We Feel It and How to Deal
013: Terri Bacow — Mom Guilt Stops Here – Why We Feel It and How to Deal 1024 512 Chase Jennings

No one likes feeling guilty. It’s just not a happy place to be. Yet somehow mothers seem to be riddled with what is called “mom guilt” all the time. We sacrifice so much for our children, but despite that, we still feel like we’re not doing enough. For some, they feel guilty for not being able to take care of their children because they’re working, and for others, they long to be out in the workforce because they feel they’re homebound with their kids too much. Either way, it’s a difficult conundrum to grapple with all the time.

On this episode, I am joined by Dr. Terri Bacow, PhD, who is a clinical psychologist on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. She has deep expertise in using skills-based therapies to treat anxiety, depression, and related disorders, including postpartum depression and anxiety. Dr. Bacow is dedicated to empowering each client with the concrete, sustainable coping skills to better manage overwhelming thoughts and emotions. She especially enjoys working with young adults (including college students) and parents, including moms and dads adjusting to new parenting or interested in parent coaching. Ready to shed the mom guilt, and hone in on your greatest, most powerful self? Let’s do this!

Tune In:

Meet My Guest:

Press:

Show Notes:

  • 4:00 – “Tyranny of the shoulds”
  • 6:17 – Working moms
  • 9:30 – Team work makes the dream work!
  • 11:00 – Ask for help
  • 12:50 – Mom Sense Moment
  • 17:45 – Quote of the Day
  • 18:00 – Mom Haul

Mom Haul:

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010: Kelly Murray & Amber Price — Hush Little Baby – Sleep Training vs. Co-Sleeping
010: Kelly Murray & Amber Price — Hush Little Baby – Sleep Training vs. Co-Sleeping 1024 512 Chase Jennings

You know what the most trite advice is about babies and sleep? “Honey, sleep when the baby sleeps!” It makes me think of a meme I came across on Instagram that said, “Sure. And I’ll do laundry when my baby does laundry and wash bottles when my baby washes bottles.” When the baby sleeps, that may be our only window of  time to get to the umpteen things we have to do.

One of the most polarizing and confusing topics for a new mom is “To sleep train or not.” There are some parents who are die-hard believers in the Ferber method and others who prefer co-sleeping, and others who fall somewhere in between. First and foremost, there is no right or wrong method. You do what is right for your baby and your family and your schedule.

What I aim to provide you with is knowledge. If you’re a mom who is unsure of what to do to put your baby to sleep and sleep well, this is the episode for you. I interview Kelly Murray, founder of Kelly Murray Sleep Consulting and Dr. Amber Price, Pediatrician/Lactation Specialist, and they talk about the pros and cons of sleep training vs. attachment parenting.

My goal is to keep things as objective as possible. As a journalist, I’m hardwired to tell both sides of the story, that way you can take both of these very different perspectives and schools of  thought and do what’s best for your baby and your family. Sweet dreams!

Tune In:

Meet My Guest:

Show Notes:

  • 2:50 – Meet Kelly Murray, founder of Kelly Murray Sleep Consulting
  • 3:45 – Meet Dr. Amber Price, pediatrician and breastfeeding medicine specialist and founder of Willow Pediatrics
  • 4:40 – How much sleep should a newborn be getting?
  • 8:00 – When can I put my baby on a schedule?
  • 12:50 – When is a baby ready to sleep train?
  • 15:20 – Recap of the book, “12 Hours in 12 Weeks” by Suzy Giardano
  • 20:00 – Did you co-sleep or sleep train early on? Share your personal experiences with us.
  • 24:00 – Are there alternatives to the Ferber method of sleep training?
  • 27:00 – How do babies self soothe?
  • 29:00 – How did you co-sleep with your kids (for Dr. Price)?
  • 36:50 – What is the stigma vs. the benefits of sleep training vs. attachment parenting?
  • 46:27 – How do you know child-led parenting is meant for you?
  • 47:40 – What are some of the similarities of both philosophies?
  • 48:00 – Mom Sense moment
  • 55:29 – Mom Haul
  • 59:37 – Quote of the Day

Mom Haul:

  • Kanika
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How to Swaddle Your Baby
How to Swaddle Your Baby 2048 1367 Kanika

 

My OBGYN told me the first three months of a baby’s life should be considered a fourth trimester. Anything and everything that simulates the womb reminds your baby of his ‘happy place.’ Swaddling is one of the first techniques new parents learn to soothe their crying babies. I still remember learning to swaddle our twins at the hospital. My husband and I would practice on either my son or my daughter and then switch! With my third baby, it couldn’t be more easy peasy. He’s a lovely, low-maintenance kid and the fact that I actually know what I am doing probably helps too. Over the years, I’ve learned complicated swaddling techniques and easy ones and have tried various swaddle blankets and sleepers. And you know what? I personally feel that coming back to the basics is what works best for my baby. Here’s a video on swaddling made easy! I love Aden and Anais swaddles since they’re lightweight, breathable, and made of 100% organic cotton muslin. 

 

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